(from 'the early years'...)


One thing in my life that I seem to have found
Is that the times I feel hurt are when people let me down.
The don't always mean it, I don't write to condemn
It's just that some simple things mean more
to me than they do to them.

Failure to listen, not lending a hand;
Bringing me down when they should help me
stand.
Being busy with life and not trying to see
That I'm expressing myself and it's really me.
Not knowing their words are so out of place
Not asking me along or saving a space.

I don't need support, it's not strength that I
lack
I can carry my load and should my pack.
My needs are all simple, my desires are few;
I have more things than time to do.

All that I require is for you to find
A part of the day to hear my mind.
Just don't talk at me when you're supposed
to hear
Don't laugh at me when I shed a tear.
I want you to know from these simple words
The joy in my life comes from minds that merge.

How that you know on what my soul will feed
I can tell you this world isn't making the
people I need.
It's no fun to have people step down from
the shelf
And relate to me with their fragmented self.

But there is joy in my life because I have found
a few
Who aren't the machines of the corporate crew.
So if you're ever in town and you just want
to talk
I'll lend you an ear or we'll take a walk.
You don't have to bring anything special for me
Just bring your whole self and share it
with me.

Without an Out

(from 'the early years'...)

Without an Out

People are turning to turning.
Outside remedies for inside problems.
Thoreau told us to turn to nature
But I don't think he was just pointing to the backyard.

But I'm not kidding here
Let's get serious.

I knew someone
He told me about his future for safety
Built in the land of constant sun
Surrounded by the heavy sweet aroma of lush vegetation
Poppies were to grow on his ceiling
He hoped to die clenching one in his teeth.

I haven't seen him in a long time
I moved away
He dropped out
School this time
And joined the armed forces
Then dishonorable discharge
"The double D," somebody said
"O",
I said, "maybe just one D".
And I wasn't kidding
Let's get serious.

Doors, doors, the never-ending doors
EXIT confused with ENTRANCE
"INS" becoming "OUTS"
Swift revolving doors
In front of Bloomingdale's or Macy's
All over, everywhere
Spinning and turning, quicker and quicker.
A door for everyone, there's a door for you
All you have to do is go through
But maybe...
You'll never come back
And maybe you're already there in never-never land.

And don't think I'm kidding, I'm not
Let's get serious.

In the end I can only talk me
Cause that's what I see best
I can't turn you into my way of thinking
But I can't turn off sadness, frustration, anger, alienation, defeat either
I won't watch what you've grown
Go up in smoke
Cause I want to know
YOU
Just you from the inside
Without the out.
I'm really not kidding
Let's get serious.
Can you?

Realization

(from 'the early years'...)

Realization

I thought
That love's water had washed over me
Startling sparkling liquid diamonds ascending
Over me with you
I submerged myself
My body - aching with the pain
Of breath denied and pounding heart
Burst
Scattering me among the stars
White-lighted oneness with the universe, simultaneously universal.

Ah... but for realization
Greetings solitude, my illusive bedfellow
The embodiment of my imaginings
Encased in the fatigue of one who held to the concrete.

You knew of no sparkling fountain, you had never seen the intangible.

My fact-shocked body plummeted through the unstarred blackness
Plunged into nonexistent waters
Falling (always falling) towards the bottom
Of the bottomless stagnant liquid grave.

That's all right
It doesn't hurt
No strings attached, remember?

No life, no way of avoiding the
Sudden crash-stop contact with the unbottom
Beside a discarded hermit crab shell
I forced myself inside
Drew my knees up to my chest,
Pressed my hands to my ears,
Rocking - side to side,
Trying to escape
The laughter
Which scorned all delusion
Shrill and bitter
Sound waves rippling
The unreachable surface of
The stinking water.

Laughter which exploded into hysteria
With the discovery of my
Pitifully trembling hiding place
The HUSH
Shrillness, silenced,
Slinking and shrinking from the sight
Of its source
The searcher and the searched
The observer and the tormented
Melting into one...

And I rose
Finally breaking through
The stench
Of ocean self-pity.

It's you who is drowning
Not me
I'm free
To deny gravity and soar.

The Beautiful, Peaceful Morning

(from 'the early years'....)

The Beautiful, Peaceful Morning

The morning is silent
While dawn breaks.

With the break of dawn
A sweet little bird awakens.
It rises and begins to sing
And breaks the silence of the
Beautiful, peaceful morning.

It greets the world with its song,
And the world begins to sing along.
It chirps, it sings,
What a beautiful sound it brings.
It chatters and tweets,
It brings music to the streets,
And it is so happy on this
Beautiful, peaceful morning.

With the bird a man awakes.
He rises from his bed
And prepares for the planned day
Ahead.
He walks through the streets
And unconsciously bears, but does
Not listen,
To the beautiful sound of the bird
As it sings.
Then the man begins to whistle.
Together the man and the bird create
A song,
And all are happy on this
Beautiful, peaceful morn.

The man walks out to the field,
And passes by - but again does not
Notice
The beauty of nature.
He hears many noises,
But the birds, as they sing,
Dominate all other sounds.
He pauses, then stops. There is a
Blasting noise.
Now it - for a moment - dominates
All other sounds of the field.

The creatures of the field
Are frightened and still.
The breeze begins to run,
And the clouds blanket the sun.
The man watches, as his prey falls
To the ground.
He turns and walks on further
To continue his activity.
But now, his whistlling is the only
Sound.
And once again,
The sound of silence resumes,
On this bleak and dreary afternoon.

Travesty

(from 'the early years'...)


Travesty

The man is sitting alone
In his chair
Within a crowd of nothingness.

The illusion of reality
Casts shadows upon the walls,
Defying the law of gravity.

He rises and pierces the black
With a melted candle;
Expressing himself in the glow.

He escapes to a window,
Watching amber raindrops splash
A smile crosses his face in a thought.

He dreams of a place far, far away
His friends exist in the past,
His smile explodes into laughter
Then weeping.

The travesty blossoms into full
Reality,
Consuming his heart, mind and soul.
He glares out the window in wonder.

A teardrop escapes from his eye,
And races down his face to the floor.
He smiles and resumes his sitting.

Bowing his head he vanishes;
Leaving only a crowd of nothingness
And an amber teardrop on the floor.

The Intruder

(from 'the early years'....)


The Intruder

I slip into the woods, my feet
Padding softly
On the pine needle carpet,
Following the trail of a well-worn
Path.
The beauty and greenness beyond
This trail
Beckon to me and so I step off this
beaten track,
And I'm swallowed up in the forest.

The silence, filled with the noise of
Birds and animals,
The cool darkness all green and
Breezy
Welcome me as I walk along.
I plunge into the multi-faceted web
Of a spider
Weaving for her dinner.

I trip on a dead branch
And shrink away from the buzzing
Insects.
The silence becomes deafening
As I search for the path.
As I find it and leave these woods,
I realize that I am an intruder
In a world in which I have no part.

Wild Ridge Mountain

(from 'the early years')...


Wild Ridge Mountain

Somewhere on the edge of the world lies Wild Ridge Mountain
The home of every lost dream and forgotten promise
It's sharp cliffs point an accusing finger at our world
Men come from all over to see the mountain.
Every man who looks upon its ugliness
And does nothing to beautify its features
Would not dare come too close
Dare he find lost dreams and remember forgotten promises.
Yet every man that enhances the mountain
Can climb above all others,
And ascend the ladder to heaven.

Indian Ring

(from 'the early years'...)


Indian Ring


Blinding beams of morning's sun
Penetrates the room
Rainbow rays filter through
Last eve's stormy gloom
Reigning in the day
Gazing upon my ring
Casting life through the haze
Quietly into being
Powerful eye of scarlet glow
Gold blazen pupil gleam
Blue sapphires gather round
Clustered in violet dream
Life flowing through the panes
Breathing hot, intense flames
Silver setting harboring god stone
Flying arrow engraves the word
Reflects the sun god they have seen
From now, a foreign world.