Without an Out

(from 'the early years'...)

Without an Out

People are turning to turning.
Outside remedies for inside problems.
Thoreau told us to turn to nature
But I don't think he was just pointing to the backyard.

But I'm not kidding here
Let's get serious.

I knew someone
He told me about his future for safety
Built in the land of constant sun
Surrounded by the heavy sweet aroma of lush vegetation
Poppies were to grow on his ceiling
He hoped to die clenching one in his teeth.

I haven't seen him in a long time
I moved away
He dropped out
School this time
And joined the armed forces
Then dishonorable discharge
"The double D," somebody said
"O",
I said, "maybe just one D".
And I wasn't kidding
Let's get serious.

Doors, doors, the never-ending doors
EXIT confused with ENTRANCE
"INS" becoming "OUTS"
Swift revolving doors
In front of Bloomingdale's or Macy's
All over, everywhere
Spinning and turning, quicker and quicker.
A door for everyone, there's a door for you
All you have to do is go through
But maybe...
You'll never come back
And maybe you're already there in never-never land.

And don't think I'm kidding, I'm not
Let's get serious.

In the end I can only talk me
Cause that's what I see best
I can't turn you into my way of thinking
But I can't turn off sadness, frustration, anger, alienation, defeat either
I won't watch what you've grown
Go up in smoke
Cause I want to know
YOU
Just you from the inside
Without the out.
I'm really not kidding
Let's get serious.
Can you?