24 November 2007

dinner with mr. loud

Just wrote a little review on Oakwood restaurant, and was reminded of one of our visits there.

We were there early one evening and the place was pretty crowded. As usual, there were lots of seniors there.... trying to keep their false teeth in their mouth while sucking on rib bones, I guess. Anyway, a group of four had come in and sat down. Three of them had been taught to use their indoor voice, but the forth - an elderly gentleman - evidently never learned about indoor voices, or was hard of hearing. He SPOKE SO LOUDLY!

A few minutes after they sat down, his cell phone rang. I couldn't name the tune, but I know it had to have been a favorite on the "The Lawrence Welk Show" (thank you, Bobby and Barbara!). The man was YELLING into the phone, and if the people on the other end weren't originally deaf, they would be after a few calls from this man.

The friends that the Loud party were waiting for had come in the front door... and instead of just looking for their pals, the newcomers decided to call them on their cell - while standing next to the hostess station (and blocking the front door, of course). Kids these days.

The gentleman sitting near us not only forgot about his indoor voice, but I guess he forgot he was on a cell phone too - because as soon as he heard they were inside the front door, he started yelling even louder on the phone! Waving frantically he screamed, "WE'RE OVER HERE!" Did he think of giving them a hint as to where "here" was (like near the window, in the back?)? Nah. That would have been too easy. Let em hunt for us!

The friends that had come in the front door were incredibly short (maybe the sole-surviving Munchkins...who knows?); so while we could see them from where we were sitting, they couldn't see over the dividing wall. They heard their master's voice, but couldn't see him, so they were frantically and aimlessly rambling around the restaurant with a look of desperation on their faces.... like the wicked witch of the West had just shown up in a cloud of smoke, and they needed a place to hide.

After a couple more minutes of YELLING (!) - the two parties met, sat down, and after a few really bad jokes directed toward the waitress, all was calm. Mr. Loud was LOUD the entire time we were there, but fortunately his dinner companions dominated the conversation; so we didn't hear a lot more from him.

A short while later, though, just as we had finished our dinner, the fun started again. We suddenly heard, "OH MY GOD. THAT'S TERRIBLE!" It was Mr. Loud. He continued... "YOU HAVE TO GET A RING! GET YOURSELF ONE OF THOSE INFLATABLE DONUTS! THAT'S WHAT I USE! I HAVE HEMORRHOIDS! YOU HAVE TO PROTECT THE HOLE!"

Oy.......... I'm sooooo glad we were done eating, and too stuffed for dessert. After hearing that, I don't think I could have eaten anything else. We paid the bill and headed toward the door. All in all though, it's a nice place. The food & service are outstanding, and the diners are usually entertaining.

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