Okay... I love Florida, and all the different wildlife and what-not... and the leetle lizards (anoles?) on the back patio are my pals. But.... I never did like snakes... and they're showing up more and more.....
Yesterday I was working on a quilt on the kitchen table. I finished up, shut most of the lights off, and was headed to the family room to watch some tv. On my way there, I noticed a long fabric scrap underneath the bar stools at the kitchen counter. I reached down and grabbed it to pick it up, and it moved! A snake! Yikes! I dropped the thing very quickly. It slithered off, toward the laundry room. That was good, cuz I had a chance of at least getting it into the garage. Well, I put shoes on, and ran outside and grabbed the pool net (note to self - remove net from pole before attempting to use indoors. You won't knock so much stuff over). I came back in and almost got the snake in the net... and then he slithered off, under the laundry door, into the kitchen, and into the pantry.
Great. Of course we have a bazillion things in the bottom of the pantry... several wine bottles, a 2,000 year-old pizelle maker.... a miniature 6-pack of Coke bottles, etc. I grabbed the last bottle of wine, and saw that the floor in the pantry was bare. No stuff- no snake!
So I started to remove stuff from the bottom shelf, and there was the snake. He had climbed up and coiled himself around the wire shelving. Now what? I did the only thing any sane, reasonable person would do. I started throwing packages of napkins at him. (we have enough napkins to last til 2020....) The snake dropped to the floor. I had to get him out. So I ran in the garage and got these long gardening gloves... I had no idea what kind of snake it was, but figured that with my luck, it was some rare, poisonous snake that would kill me. I reached down and grabbed him by the tail (isn't he all tail?), and he turned on me and reared his ugly head. Then I heard what I thought was a rattle. YIKES! I dropped that sucker fast! Now what? I have a rattle snake in the house.... anxious to end my life. It's after 10 p.m., so I couldn't call Snakebusters.... although I did find a "snake hotline" number online a lil later... which turned out to be just a nasty old man who gets REALLY angry when you call after dark. hehe
So then I called the other Jim (who is still in Canada). He's good at finding solutions to all sorts of problems. Yeah right. When I called, he was driving back from a job - with his crew. They didn't have any solutions, but they did have lots of laughter. I'm gonna remember that the next time they're in a life-or-death situation! ;-)
I didn't see a rattle, and after looking at lots of snake pics, I decided this was an Eastern Ribbon snake. Whatever it was, it didn't seem to fall in the poisonous category. But I heard a rattle. Hmmmm.... maybe it was a baby rattler who's "rattle" hadn't developed yet? I "think" what happened was that he just hissed at me.... and the "hissing" vibrated the brown paper bag he was sitting on... and magnified the sound.
I tried the net again... and this time, he slithered under the fridge. I moved the fridge, but he kept hiding underneath. So then I found the ultimate solution. I lined the bottom of the fridge with towels, and sprayed a ton of roach spray behind the fridge (sorry snake lovers). I needed him out, or dead, or both. I figured that in the morning, I'd find a dead snake under the fridge.
Well, I shook the fridge, and he popped his head out a couple of times... but then I didn't see him, and thought the fumes got to him. This morning, I pulled the fridge out from the wall... no snake. So either he crawled inside somewhere, and is hiding, or he slithered to another spot in the house, or, he simply found his way back outside. Let's hope it's that last one! I don't wanna have to go through this again. In hindsight, I guess I coulda just stepped on his head. But when I first found him, I was barefoot, so that might have been a bad choice.
I've since learned that there are people that come and remove snakes from your home - IF you know where they are. There's also another group of people who will actually come out and search your house until the snake is found, and then remove it. I wonder if they would do anything about alleged squirrels in the attic.......
I'm tellin ya... next time it will be a gator in the pool. I should prolly read up on what to do when you're attacked by a gator and yer in the water... and I should prolly line the pool with various weaponry.... just in case! And by all means, I'm not pickin anything up off the floor again... so when ya visit and the house is a mess, you'll know why....
Definitely a face only a mother could love....
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